Monday, October 19, 2009
Hereticnow.com
I apologize for the relative silence here. I can't speak for others, but I myself have been busy with life, and more importantly... The new website! Now up and running, Hereticnow.com is your new destination for everything heretic, centering around our blog. That being said, I have transferred over all of the entries from blogspot, so they are easily accessible, and new entries and topics will be appearing there rather than here! I look forward to seeing you all at http://hereticnow.com!
animals in need
I think it's funny that I'm the only one that does this anymore. Should I keep doing it? If I write about something and no one reads it, does it matter? I don't know. Anyway
Every time I walk Bread which is twice a day we walk by this house with a smaller dog. It's not a little yappy dog, it might be a puppy. But something happened to it and it's two back legs are paralyzed. I sometimes see the owner trying to make it walk, with it's legs in a wheel brace. The dog doesn't seem into it. In fact the dog seems depressed, or that's how it looks to me. I am most likely putting that emotion on the dog.
Generally the dog is left on a small porch, it's mostly the steps up to the house. It just sort half sits up on a blanket, sometimes he's covered in a blanket, and sometimes he's on the lawn. Recently it's made me angry that he gets left all day on the lawn, because we have a lot of mosquito's right now, and I see them swarming around this dog. But then I think, well, the owners must love this dog, if he was paralyzed and they paid for his recovery. He has water, and they seem like they care. But I want them to keep the dog inside with them, because I feel like the dog is lonely, and I would never leave a dog who can't walk out in the open, because he can't defend himself, or get away.
So today as we were walking, I noticed the dog at the bottom of the three stairs that lead up to the landing that he is usually on. It looked as though he had fallen, because he was on top of a barrier, that they had set up, and all of his blankets were in disarray. He was looking toward his front door. I had Bread, and so I wasn't sure what to do, because I didn't want Bread to jump on him, or scare him. But then two walkers came by and I asked them if they wouldn't ring the doorbell to let them know the dog had fallen. After a few minutes someone came out, and they picked up the dog and put him back on the landing and sort of loosely blocked his way with the barrier.
This sort of made me depressed. And I come up against this again and again. Because I know that that dog is alive because he wants to be. The dog is choosing to hang around with that family. But I cannot reconcile my feelings about the dog, and I feel this need to help, or care for it. I hate thinking of the dog outside all day just sitting there. This is the one thing that I haven't been able to understand yet about the law of attraction. I can almost understand it in my mind, but my emotions feel so contrary. I have a feeling I'm going to keep seeing animals in situations like this, until I can make peace with it, or just not view it in such a way that my heart hurts.
That's all I got today.
Every time I walk Bread which is twice a day we walk by this house with a smaller dog. It's not a little yappy dog, it might be a puppy. But something happened to it and it's two back legs are paralyzed. I sometimes see the owner trying to make it walk, with it's legs in a wheel brace. The dog doesn't seem into it. In fact the dog seems depressed, or that's how it looks to me. I am most likely putting that emotion on the dog.
Generally the dog is left on a small porch, it's mostly the steps up to the house. It just sort half sits up on a blanket, sometimes he's covered in a blanket, and sometimes he's on the lawn. Recently it's made me angry that he gets left all day on the lawn, because we have a lot of mosquito's right now, and I see them swarming around this dog. But then I think, well, the owners must love this dog, if he was paralyzed and they paid for his recovery. He has water, and they seem like they care. But I want them to keep the dog inside with them, because I feel like the dog is lonely, and I would never leave a dog who can't walk out in the open, because he can't defend himself, or get away.
So today as we were walking, I noticed the dog at the bottom of the three stairs that lead up to the landing that he is usually on. It looked as though he had fallen, because he was on top of a barrier, that they had set up, and all of his blankets were in disarray. He was looking toward his front door. I had Bread, and so I wasn't sure what to do, because I didn't want Bread to jump on him, or scare him. But then two walkers came by and I asked them if they wouldn't ring the doorbell to let them know the dog had fallen. After a few minutes someone came out, and they picked up the dog and put him back on the landing and sort of loosely blocked his way with the barrier.
This sort of made me depressed. And I come up against this again and again. Because I know that that dog is alive because he wants to be. The dog is choosing to hang around with that family. But I cannot reconcile my feelings about the dog, and I feel this need to help, or care for it. I hate thinking of the dog outside all day just sitting there. This is the one thing that I haven't been able to understand yet about the law of attraction. I can almost understand it in my mind, but my emotions feel so contrary. I have a feeling I'm going to keep seeing animals in situations like this, until I can make peace with it, or just not view it in such a way that my heart hurts.
That's all I got today.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Laramie
I felt bad yesterday because I didn't have time to write my blog...but now I see it doesn't matter. I think I'm the only one who still writes a blog. Crying.
Last night I got to be in a reading of The Laramie Project and Epilogue, which if you are familiar with the original play, is about the murder of Mathew Shepard. This was a fascinating look at the town ten years later. I remember very vividly the murder and then driving through Laramie two years later on my way to NY. It felt like a sad and repressed place. The play focuses on what has changed since the murder, and it's good and bad, because for some people a lot changed for the better, and for others, they prefer to pretend that the crime was not a hate crime. One of the things that struck me most about the play was that one of the policeman who was responsible for the conviction of the two killers was homophobic before the murder, and he said that by being forced to work with the gay community, he realised that his whole life he had been precluding a group of people from friendship. A group of good people. And that he's made a 180 degree turn in his heart. But what troubles him is that it took the murder of this young man for him to realize that. I just thought how wonderful that he was able to change his mind, and see past his fear, and that now he has wonderful relationships with people who ten years before he would have avoided. And the police department in Laramie defends the gay community that lives there. They were able to build that relationship. So many wonderful things came out of that murder. And there are still people who hate another group of people for no reason, but this example of it changing was very inspiring to me.
Anyway, we did two performances of the play last night, and as I was leaving I saw a young man hugging our director, weeping and thanking her. Theatre is still powerful, I don't care what people say about it!
Last night I got to be in a reading of The Laramie Project and Epilogue, which if you are familiar with the original play, is about the murder of Mathew Shepard. This was a fascinating look at the town ten years later. I remember very vividly the murder and then driving through Laramie two years later on my way to NY. It felt like a sad and repressed place. The play focuses on what has changed since the murder, and it's good and bad, because for some people a lot changed for the better, and for others, they prefer to pretend that the crime was not a hate crime. One of the things that struck me most about the play was that one of the policeman who was responsible for the conviction of the two killers was homophobic before the murder, and he said that by being forced to work with the gay community, he realised that his whole life he had been precluding a group of people from friendship. A group of good people. And that he's made a 180 degree turn in his heart. But what troubles him is that it took the murder of this young man for him to realize that. I just thought how wonderful that he was able to change his mind, and see past his fear, and that now he has wonderful relationships with people who ten years before he would have avoided. And the police department in Laramie defends the gay community that lives there. They were able to build that relationship. So many wonderful things came out of that murder. And there are still people who hate another group of people for no reason, but this example of it changing was very inspiring to me.
Anyway, we did two performances of the play last night, and as I was leaving I saw a young man hugging our director, weeping and thanking her. Theatre is still powerful, I don't care what people say about it!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Thoughts on School
One thing I love about school is that I'm always busy, and I'm always getting stuff done. And even though it school, it's theatre, and that's what I want my life's work to be. And when I imagine my life after school, it seems the same to me. The only different thing is I will be the conductor. No one will tell me to write a play or direct a play or to read this book or that. But I will tell myself those things. It's almost like being in school these last five years has been a way for me to live the kind of life I want to live. And now, I just have to really live it. I have to get paid for it. I've been practicing my life, and now it's time to perform. That is so exciting to me. I'm excited to get paid for these things, and to keep learning, and meeting new people and collaborating with them. It is so intensely satisfying to be in a good collaboration. Abraham would say, it's co-creating at it's best! And that's what theatre is to me. I think that's why I want it to be my life. I'm directing the play Mud, by Maria Irene Fornes. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. I wish you all could see it. I hope you're all well.
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